It’s taken me a little while to come to grips with my most recent Mother of the Year moment. Or day, if you like.
Last weekend, I met my friend and her daughter for breakfast at a local diner. Viv was having fun grabbing at her new friend (who is 14 months older than she is), until she started getting a little crabby in her high chair.
I pulled her on my lap, and cleared away the dishes, forks, etc. Shortly after, the waitress came by (as she had, repeatedly during our meal), and started talking about how fast kids grow up, etc. etc. I swear I looked away from Viv for seconds, and it happened in slow motion.
Her left fingers reaching as far as they would go into my coffee cup. And it tips, coffee spilled all over the table, onto my legs and her legs. Viv screamed, but only for a second. It all happened so fast, and so slow at the same time. I ran to the bathroom to check Viv’s legs and fingers, which thankfully were perfectly fine*. In fact, by the time I got to the bathroom, she was laughing and smiling. Yeah, real funny (hint: sarcasm). And of course that day, I left her official diaper bag in the car with the extra change of clothes, so I had to run out to get that, and THEN change her! By the time all was said and done I was silently freaking out.
Besides my immediate reaction of worrying about Viv’s well being, I was so completely humiliated that I didn’t anticipate that danger. I felt like everyone in the diner was staring at me and judging me for being a terrible mother. I know mistakes happen. I know she will skin her knee, or fall off the jungle gym, or get her heartbroken. Or all of those things. I want to protect her from every bad thing, and I know I can’t. But it hurts my soul to know that I could have prevented that little harm to her.
But because I have the most awesome friend ever, she took one look at me, reached her hands out to take Viv, and cuddled with her while I regained my composure.
And then we went home and went about our day. And at bathtime, with The Man and I both supervising, she tipped over and hit her head on the tub*. And at the time, I declared myself DONE for the day. Pretty sure that the Man agreed with me!
(*Of course, Vivian is perfectly fine and happy and healthy. She just has a ridiculous mom)