So guess what I did yesterday.
Oh, just took a half day from work and drove 2 hours to Paramus, NJ, ate at On the Border, and happened upon the Barnes and Noble where this #1 New York Times Bestselling Offer was doing a reading, Q&A, and book signing. Nbd.
ER MAH GERRRRD!!!
It all started about a month ago, when Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess, announced a book tour to coincide with the release of the paperback of her book, Let’s Pretend this Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir. I saw that the first stop was Paramus, NJ on March 5th, and the second stop was NYC on March 6th. I have my photograph class on Wednesday nights, and didn’t want to miss it (even though I didn’t go tonight, but that’s another story), and set my sights on Tuesday. Normally the Man has a Tuesday evening class, but this week was SPRING BREAK WAHOO! So instead of the Man partying like a rockstar, I got to meet one of my lady crushes!
Naturally, this involved
asking begging forcing one of my bffs Jess to come with. Not only is she also a huge bloggess fan, she’s also a Jersey native and could explain all the U-turns to me. I can’t remember the last time I took a lady road trip, and it was amazing to talk about friendships, babies, birth, loss, marriage, feminism, drinking, sex, love, and everything in between. Not to mention we were riding in style in my mom’s Tiguan.
So we left around 1:30, and got there by 3:45pm. For a 7pm book signing. Originally we were planning on leaving around 3, and grabbing dinner, and then realized that arriving in lower NYS/NJ around 5pm was not the brightest of plans. So we grabbed a healthy, modest dinner (HA) at On the Border, talked some more, and then scouted seats at the event.
We walked in and immediately saw THIS:
And then took pictures of THESE:
And then had an employee come up to us and say “oh the fangirls are arriving”, and I was kind of embarrassed, but then I was like “whatever I run with 12 gans….” And continued to gush.
We were one of the first in line, and got seats in the second row, right behind the reserved seats for family and friends. Which is kind of silly b/c first of all, she’s from Texas, so I doubt she knows too many people from Paramus, NJ personally (correct me if I’m wrong?) and second, doesn’t everyone there want to be her friend?
Anyhow, we were re-reading the book, snorting like idiots, and taking ridiculous pictures like THIS:
And after about an hour and 15 minutes of waiting, THIS HAPPENED:
And then she set up Copernicus. Stop. Just stop. *
You guys. I know you know what I’m going to say. Jenny Lawson is brilliant and funny and beautiful and loving. And she’s normal. She is the person you work with. Your next door neighbor. That woman you see at the grocery store every week. She wears normal clothes and carried her own purse and talked about how she took the wrong medication before going on the Joy Behar show the day before. I had a schoolgirl grin on the entire time.
In the days prior, she tweeted asking for suggestions on which chapter to read, and I was delighted that she chose Stanley the magical squirrel. The whole room was packed and LAUGHING. Even better, she would stop and add little anecdotes throughout the story.
Q&A was interesting, with a lot of people asking obscure questions about stories from her blog (which I oh so smugly was like “yeah I know what that is b/c I’ve been reading for years nbd), which is precisely what I expect those people were trying to convey.
We lined up row by row for the signing+ and I was sweating like a pig. Like my armpits were soaked and I kind of smelled bad, and I was so nervous b/c I knew I would be close to her.
And then she was upon me. Jess went before me and I was so nervous I totally didn’t take any pictures of Jess getting her book signed!
When it was my turn, I was gushing. Obviously I told her I was a huge fan, but also confided in her about a certain line in a post that I say to myself over and over. And she started to cry. And then I totally forgot to tell her that we drove from Albany and that my family has the Christmas weasel. But its ok because I asked her for a hug and she gave me one. So there.
They had a system for the signing, including someone who was taking pictures. I made the mistake of asking the woman to use my “real” camera, instead of my iPhone. And this was the result.
Just squint your eyes and it doesn’t seem as bad? Maybe?
We were on the road by 8:30pm and I was home by 10:45pm. Certainly a later night than usual, but I was flying high on fan girl love.
I need to do this sort of, what Jess called a “tame adventure”, a lot more often.
*Jess and I did go antiquing one Saturday to try and find an awesome ethically taxidermed animal, but didn’t have any luck. Instead, I printed this picture for her, which was kind of lame, but appropriate since Catholics are totally without a pope right now.
+ A woman came by earlier and wrote our names down on post-it notes to tab on the title page so Ms. Lawson (I keep wanting to call her Jenny, but I didn’t really know her? Is that weird?) would know how to spell your name.